I'd rather lose myself in beautiful pictures and beautiful songs into an imagined world where I can have some hope and relief.
Death is underrated.

I think death is the biggest present one can receive during his life. 

"   How odd, I can have all this inside me
and to you it’s just words.   "
David Foster Wallace (via poetisch)
"   I gave you my heart and that’s all I can give you, and if that’s not enough, then I’m not enough.   "
 Haley, One Tree Hill  (via fuckinq)
Today I had a nightmare.

One of the worst in my all life.
I dreamt you were with me,
or I was with you,
and I slowly found out you’re still in touch with her.
By more and more different ways.
And I was chasing her a little,
and I was following her.
Trying not to be noticed
while I’m trying to read what she was writing to you.
Near the end I was gonna ask you “you are sleeping with her right?”.

Maybe I did. I don’t know.

I remember things very blurry.
But I remember it was visually disgusting.
And it made me feel so disgusting. And bad. And sad.
I wanted to vomit.
And my heart.
My heart was broken.

I kept feeling this way when I woke up.

So I decided to reach you out
and figure what’s going on
because we haven’t talked for a while now,
at all,
and I had a bad feeling this was over.

You called me back.
And you said it.
"Me and my ex are back together.
She began talking with me again and it simply happened…”

It was so cold.

My heart was broken for the second time today.

This time it was reality,
not a dream, or should I say nightmare.
And you can’t wake up,
you can’t dream something else,
you can’t deny it and say it didn’t happen,
you can’t bring time back,
you can’t say it’s your imagination,
or an illusion,
and you can’t pretend.

So this time it hurts me more.


Just realised

I’m fucking in love.

I wanna vomit.